“My behavior is a product of my own conscious choices based on principles, rather than a product of my conditions, based on feelings.”

Stephen Covey

Thursday, March 6, 2014



You choose how to respond to your adversity and challenges...do you want to be hero?

Don't just watch choose to act...

... 
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school.  His name was Kyle.  It looked like he was carrying all of his books.  I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on Friday?  He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.  As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.  His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.  He looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him.  So I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye.  As I handed him his glasses, I said, “those guys are jerks.  They really should get lives.”  He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!”  There was a big smile on his face.  It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived.  As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.  He said he had gone to private school before now.  I would have never hung out with a private school kid before, but we talked all the way home, and I carried his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.  I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends.  He said yes.

We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him.  And my friends thought the same of him.  Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.  I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books every day!”  He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.  When we were seniors, we began to think about college.  Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.  I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.  He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.  I teased him all the time about being a nerd.  He had to prepare a speech for graduation.  I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.

On graduation day, I saw Kyle.  He looked great.  He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.  He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.  He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him!  Boy, sometimes I was jealous.  Today was one of those days.  I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!”  He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smile.  “Thanks,” he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.  “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.  Your parents, you teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach—but most your friends.  I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.  I am going to tell you a story.”  I just looked at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met  He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.  He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.  He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.  “Thankfully, I was saved.  My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.  I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.  Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.  With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school.  His name was Kyle.  It looked like he was carrying all of his books.  I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on Friday?  He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.  As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.  His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.  He looked up, and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him.  So I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye.  As I handed him his glasses, I said, “those guys are jerks.  They really should get lives.”  He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!”  There was a big smile on his face.  It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books and asked him where he lived.  As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.  He said he had gone to private school before now.  I would have never hung out with a private school kid before, but we talked all the way home, and I carried his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.  I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends.  He said yes.

We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him.  And my friends thought the same of him.  Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.  I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books every day!”  He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.  When we were seniors, we began to think about college.  Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.  I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.  He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.  I teased him all the time about being a nerd.  He had to prepare a speech for graduation.  I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.

On graduation day, I saw Kyle.  He looked great.  He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.  He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.  He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him!  Boy, sometimes I was jealous.  Today was one of those days.  I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!”  He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smile.  “Thanks,” he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.  “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.  Your parents, you teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach—but most your friends.  I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.  I am going to tell you a story.”  I just looked at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met  He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.  He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.  He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.  “Thankfully, I was saved.  My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.  I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.  Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.  With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life.
True 
Be the change you wish to see...you want to stop bullying...you want to stop hearing about others committing suicide....be a friend, serve others, love.


Here's an amazing story about how a teen, a child, was saved because someone chose to act instead of stand by, watch and shrug thinking "this kind of stuff happens." As you're reading the story ponder on the question what would I have done if I saw something like this happen?

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Learning to stand instead of staying on the ground....

I apologize for not posting for a while. I need to get better at posting more often. Here's an amazing article about a woman that made the choice to stand and look upward rather than choose to stay low to the ground and consume herself in sadness and guilt. The article is called "Wright Words: Idaho woman learns to 'stand' again after betrayal, adultery, and murder"

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Learning from the small things....

I shared this in my other blog, http://refocusingonwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com/ but I wanted to share this experience on this blog as well because something as small as this made a huge difference in my life and it's not because I did something similar to the little girl or the mom but because I chose to learn from it. I'm not in any way a expert, someone who's experienced all walks of life, but I do hope to help those who read and follow my blog in some way or another. =)

My husband Brandon and I were able to go to Butte, MT today to see his grandparents. We left from Idaho Falls early in the morning so we could make it to church with them but ended up being late for sacrament meeting due to the weather and leaving a little later than planned. So we stayed out in the lobby and I couldn't be more grateful for doing so. We're listening to the speaker, who by the way gave a beautiful talk about addictions and the atonement of Jesus Christ, and a mother comes out with her little girl who's about 4 years old and her little boy who's about a year old. The mother was saying that they needed to go. The little says why? why? And mom says because! At that moment the little girl started to break down and cry. "Mom, I don't want to go I want to go to primary. Mom I want to stay!" Then mom started to explain why they were going...."we need to get your brother's bottle and we're coming back." The little girl didn't understand the coming back part of what she was saying so she continued to cry and throw a fit. I offered (not in front of the child, so it didn't seem like I was taking sides with the child's behavior) to watch the little girl while she went out to get the bottle. She told me not to worry about it and that she was going to get the dad. After this all happened it came to me....here I've had the blessing of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints all my life and there are times when I don't want to go, that I'd rather stay in bed because I'm so tired or some other poor excuse and here this little girl is balling her eyes out because she wants to stay and learn more about Jesus Christ. I was humbled and reminded of how lucky I am to have the gospel in my life and that we can learn so much from children. God himself told us that we must be like little children. And I have witnessed once again the reason why that doctrine is so important.
Matthew 18:3-5
"If we have a heart to learn and a willingness to follow the example of children, their divine attributes can hold a key to unlocking our own spiritual growth." - Jean A. Stevens

Friday, February 7, 2014

Reason why I chose to do a blog like this...

My reasoning for doing such a blog is not for the benefit of me, sharing information about my personal life day to day (not saying that's bad, that's why most blogs are made and that's great), but for the benefit of others in gaining more knowledge or even just expanding their perspective. I have learned so much about how crucial choices are in our life, not only because of my own life experiences but because of others and from the knowledge I've gained from my degree (marriage and family studies) and from church. And what ALWAYS comes with choices?... consequences. I hear, see, and experience too much of the opposite to the truth that consequences come from choices, even the smallest ones. I hear songs that encourage thinking about only the "hear and now" or "we might not be here tomorrow" so we do what we want. Dangerous mindset and I'll explain why in future posts. I see so many advertisements of T.V shows that promote lots of sexual activity with multiple partners before marriage (IF marriage is even in the picture for the future) that's the normal thing....but do they show the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual consequences to such choices? Of course not! Not very many would do it if they showed the truth! And heck the truth isn't fun right? But all the unhealthy practices for our overall well-being apparently are?
There are good and bad consequences to all choices and depending on the choice it will lean more towards one or the other. My goal with this blog is to do four things: 1) Share the impact of choices made leading to catastrophes that happened throughout history 2) Share examples of choices that are "popular" that we all see and hear today and the consequences that follow 3) How certain choices can build and strengthen relationships and some can ruin relationships without even knowing it 4) The beauty of agency and what it truly means to have it freely.
I've never done a blog before but I hope that it will help all of you that CHOOSE to read it =)